


Loving You is Hard

by anoelle_o7



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom
Genre: Facetimes, Fluff, Gaming, M/M, Minecraft, Phone Calls & Telephones, When you love someone across the world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:21:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27918133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoelle_o7/pseuds/anoelle_o7
Summary: TWs: mentions of panic/anxiety attacks, f slur and other swearing, night terrors'Quotes' (like <--)mean it is part of his nightmarePlease don't try forcing this ship onto either of them, they are still human beings.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Dream x George - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	1. Loving You is a Losing Game

George’s hands start sweating as he prepares to call Dream. He starts to go into a panic about the thought of Dream’s sweet voice. George’s breathing speeds up, he starts hyperventilating as he thinks of his recurring nightmare.   
'Dream grabs George’s wrist.'  
George fights the tears forming in his eyes.  
'“YOU FUCKING FAG! I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAS EVER YOUR FRIEND!” Dream screams at George.'  
George slowly dials Dream’s number as tears are streaming down his face.  
'“Dream… I loved you… I trusted you…” George whispers as clear disgust appears on Dream’s face.'  
The phone rings. “Hello?” George hears Dream question.  
'Dream punches George, blood starts trickling down his face.'  
“Dream… help…” George cries  
“Georgie? Are you crying?! What’s wrong?!” Dream yells out hearing his best friend cry.  
'“Just fucking die…” Dream says before leaving.'  
“Panic attack” George breathes out between tears.  
“Okay George, it will be okay, try and focus on counting to one hundred.” Dream responds. This was not Dream’s first time having to help George with his panic attacks.  
George’s breaths start to slow matching Dream’s slow breathing.   
“Thank you Dream…” George whispers after 2 minutes of catching his breath.  
“Georgie,” George blushes at his nickname until he hears Dream continue, “I don’t want to be overstepping my boundaries, but this is not the first time you’ve come to me in the middle of a panic attack, and knowing what is happening would help.”   
“Dream… I can’t…” George says fear lacing his words.  
Dream slowly started getting frustrated at this, “Why can’t you trust me Georgie…” he said with concern, fear, and sadness showing in his voice.   
“Dream I…” George starts not sure what to say. His mind goes back to his favourite song, Arcade by:Duncan Laurence, and decides he knows what to say.   
“Dream, it’s just… loving you is a losing game…” George finally says suddenly. He starts holding his breath waiting for Dream's response.  
“Georgie… is this a prank?” Dream asks.  
George's heart slowly breaks, his breath caught in his throat as tears slowly slipped down his face.  
“Dream- why would I lie?” He almost yells into the phone, voice cracking as the tears quickened their pace.  
'“YOU FAGOT! I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOU DON’T DESERVE LIFE!” Dream yells.'  
George shudders at remembering his nightmare.  
“George?” Dream asks.  
“I… I’m going to-” his voice gets cut off by his sobs. He quickly hits the hang up button ignoring Dream trying to calm him.  
“He… he hates me” George whispers little lies to himself as he hears his phone do multiple buzzes.

Dream  
-George  
-I wanted to tell you on call  
-I had to make sure it wasn’t a prank  
-George, I love you, with all of my heart. Please pick up…  
Read 16:28

George wipes the tears off his face to try and actually be able to make out the words on the screen in front of him. His sadness washes over as he finally reads what it says. He starts a call to Dream.  
“GEORGIE I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO UPSET YOU!!!” Dream yells into the phone as soon as he picks up.  
“Dreamie yell again and I will burn down your Minecraft home.” George deadpans.   
“Sowwy Georgieeeee…” Dream says, his childish side showing.  
“Dream… did… did you mean what you texted me?” George asks hopefully.  
“George of course I did! I have had a crush on you for three years now! You are so pretty and handsome and smart and humble… okay well maybe not that humble…” Dream says as he thinks back to one of his streams.  
“Dream… will… will you come to England for me?” George asks.  
“For you? Always.” Dream answers confirming George's question.  
George blushes hard as he hears Dream's voice come through the phone.


	2. The Beds

The next day George and Dream schedule a flight to England, it will take place on the 23rd of December, as it is currently the 20th and they both needed a bit of time to prepare.  
“Dream the tickets are expensive, please at least let me pay you back half of it. I am the one who asked you to come…” George says after looking up the price, since Dream wouldn’t tell him how much it was.  
“George. I want to go so I can see you, because I love you.” Dream reassures blushing after realizing what he said. George blushes as the words ‘I love you’ left Dream’s mouth.  
“I can’t wait to see you! I’ll finally get to see your face too!” George fangirls through the phone.  
“Wow Georgie, what if I decide to wear a mask the whole time and you never get to see my face?” Dream questions as he realizes he actually has to show George his face.  
“Dream… if you don’t show me your face I swear to god I will grief your house.” George warns before adding, “I’m kidding by the way, you don’t have to, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable…”  
“I know George, you didn’t make me uncomfortable, thank you for understanding that I might not want to though!” Dream says cringing at what he said.  
“Thank you Dreamie!” George says sensing the awkwardness at the conversation topic and wanting to change it quickly.  
“Want to play some Minecraft? We haven’t posted in a bit…” Dream says realizing the awkwardness in the room.  
“Sure!!” George says sudden excitement visible in his voice.  
They both start up their pc’s and enter their world. Dream runs over to George’s house, as he has just finished it.  
“Dream no!! Go away you’re gonna grief it!” George yells getting louder by the end.  
“But Georgieeee I want to see how far it has come since you started it!” Dream retorts.  
“Ugh fine but only cause you’re being nice…” George replies hesitantly.  
After about halfway through the tour George moves his character back and sees a bit of TNT. “Dream no!!!” George yells just as the house explodes.  
“Dream! What the hell?!” George yells as the "Respawn" button shows up.  
“Sorry Georgie,” Dream says between his wheezes. “But that was hilarious!” He finishes after wheezing a bit more.  
“Dreammmmm…” George mutters sadly.  
“Now we can move in together and put our beds by each other!” Dream says joy showing in his voice.  
“What if I don’t put it by you?” George says in response, currently wanting to crush his joy.  
“But Georgieee you have to!!!” Dream says. George smiles at Dream’s joy leaving his voice. Then suddenly felt guilty at making his best friend sad.  
“Fine.” George said finality in his voice.  
They start building their new house adding in all of the details they both wanted. As they finish building the outside they start getting their stuff for the inside of the building. Then comes time for the beds.  
“Gogy you ready?” Dream asks as he places his bed.  
A slight warmth makes its way onto George's face from the nickname and the fact that their beds will be together. Although it isn’t real life it is the closest they can be for now.  
“Yeah Dreamie!!” George responds with a smile.  
George puts his bed down next to where Dream’s is and smiles as their characters go to sleep. Suddenly George looks at his clock and sees it’s already 17:00.  
“Heya Dream?” He says sadness lacing his voice.  
“Yeah Gogy?”  
“I have to go for now…”  
“Oh… okay…” Dream replies as George hangs up.


	3. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George shops and talks to Tommy and Sapnap

George goes over to his fridge to see there is no food, so he heads over to the grocery store.   
“Hi GeorgeNotFound!” he hears as he enters the store.   
He turns around and sees a blond haired teenager.   
“Tommy, you scared me! I thought you were a different child- holy shit…” George says, very happy he doesn’t have to deal with a fan while hungry… well a fan that he doesn’t normally have to deal with.   
“OOOO NEW TITLE: STORYTIME I SCARE GEORGENOTFOUND *NOT CLICKBAIT*” Tommy says a joyous laugh at the end.   
“Tommy, I swear if you post that…” George says his voice indicating he is not in the mood.  
“Sorry Gogyyyyy.” He replies actually feeling bad for annoying him.  
“Yeah, yeah, anyways I need to go get food to make dinner, want to play sometime tomorrow?” George asks feeling bad for brushing him off so much.  
“Yeah sure I’ll be streaming with Tubbo so you with us means more views” Tommy happily says, even though everyone knows he doesn’t care about the views and just wants to play with his friends.  
“Okay! I’ll call you!” George says, waving goodbye and walking away. He ends up buying food for the next few weeks, making sure he has enough for Dream and him both. As he drives home he decides to call Sapnap and tell him what is happening.   
“Hey Snapmap!” George says as Sapnap answers the call.  
“Hi George! What’s up?”   
“Soooo… I kind of accidentally confessed to Dream today so uh he is coming over on the 23rd and we’ll spend a week or so together, oh and he said he loves me and I didn’t say it back, because I don’t know how to… and we aren’t even dating or anything…” George rushes out feeling bad for leaving his friend out of the loop even though this all just happened within the past hour.  
“Wow George… that’s a lot. Anyway, I’m happy for you guys and I hope you can work it out. Uhm just don’t forget about me okay?” Sapnap asks the last bit in a joking tone with a hint of real fear showing.   
“We would never!”   
“Haha okay Gogy, want to play tomorrow? I have to stream for the fans.” Sapnap says, realizing he hasn’t streamed in the past few weeks.   
“Sure, I’m already going to be on with Tommy and Tubbo so you can join as well!”  
“Okay! It’ll be loads of fun!” Sapnap says, sounding extremely excited about being able to play with his friends.  
“Oh I am almost home so I’m going to have to go.” George says reluctantly.   
“Bye George I’ll call you tomorrow!”  
“Bye Sapnap!”   
George arrives home and brings the weeks worth of groceries in. He begins putting them away, leaving out pasta and tomatoes. George puts the pasta in the boiling water and starts cutting his tomatoes. Finally a half hour later he finishes making all of his food. George opens Snapchat and snaps Dream captioning his food picture, “Hey wanna ft I’m eating dinner!” He sends it and a minute later Dream responds with a picture of his hair and eyes captioning it, “YES!”   
George smiles and sees an incoming Facetime call, he answers it practically yelling, “HI DREAM I MISSED YOU SO MUCHHHHH!” Dream laughs a little and the night begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I just want to apologize for not having an update schedule, I'll try to update every other weekend but I don't know if that will work.


	4. Anxiety Induced Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There are mentions of anxiety attacks and a lot of mental stress

“So George… I know we’re seeing each other in three days, but I was wondering if I could go tomorrow? Someone no longer needs their ticket and so the airport is selling it if someone will trade their ticket.” Dream asks, nervousness hinting at his voice.   
“Wait really?! You really want to come that early?!”   
“Er yeah if you’d be okay with that…” Dream replies with a smile being heard in his voice.  
“Dreamie I’d be so happy if you’re here… tomorrow…” George says slowly with false excitement in his voice.  
“George… are you, uh, sure it’s okay? You seem upset…”   
“Remember… you can’t upset Dream… don’t hurt him” George thought to himself before speaking out loud, “Yeah Dream! I’m sure! What time would you get here cause I’m streaming with Sapnap and Tommy and Tubbo.”   
“Okay! Uhm it says the plane will land in London at 5:00 pm.”  
“Okay well Tommy texted saying that they’re streaming at 3:00 so I will just do a short stream.”   
“Okay Georgie! I love you so much but I have to go!” Dream says, remembering he wasn’t done packing. George grimaces at the “I love you” Dream said but answers nonetheless, “Yeah okay! Uhm see you tomorrow!”   
They hang up and George finishes his food. He puts the dishes away and lays in bed rethinking everything that happened that day. He feels tears coming out from his eyes remembering that Dream has said “I love you” two times today and he has not said it back. The only time he said it was during his anxiety attack. He screams out in pain and the tears rush quicker.   
“I love him! Why can’t I tell him!!” George screams, rubbing his eyes hard trying to stop his tears from falling any quicker, but they just start coming quicker.   
“I… I love him…” He says quietly, his tears finally slowing and he slips into sleep.  
The next morning arises and George awakes, his hair fluffing up creating an excruciatingly adorable look, that is if you ignored his red eyes from all the crying he went through. “Ughh what time is it?” George mumbles under his breath as he glances at the clock, “OH SHIT!! IT’S 12:00!!” He yells thinking about all he has to do today.   
He gets out of bed and starts cleaning his house, skipping any form of food. His house was small but there was a hell of a lot to clean. Tears start on his face as he starts to feel more and more stressed.   
George’s tears slow as his stomach starts rumbling signaling the fact that he hadn’t had anything to eat since early last night. He stops cleaning and decides to put together a sandwich. As he eats his food he thinks, deciding that his house shouldn’t need to be spotless, after all it’s just Dream coming over for who knows how long.   
He finishes up eating and puts his dishes in the sink, vowing to take care of it before Dream comes over. George checks the time, “2:45… I feel like there was something- OH I HAVE TO STREAM TODAY” George yells the end as his anxiety and stress start working up.   
“Okay, okay, so I have to call them. Like now.” He mumbles to himself as he runs over to his computer. He opens Discord and clicks into their voice chat.   
“Hi Gogy!!” He hears several yells of joy and he replies to each one.  
“Hi Tommy, Tubbo, and Snapmap!”   
“Call me “Snapmap” one more time and see what happens.” Sapnap deadpans.  
“Sorry Sapnap!” He replies as he logs into Minecraft and starts his stream up.   
He mutes his mic and starts his introduction, “Hi guys! Today we’re streaming with Snapmap, Tubbo, and the child!”   
He finally finishes his intro and unmutes to start the stream. They stream for one hour and George gets a message.   
Dreamie  
-HIIIII ONE HOUR UNTIL WE SEE EACH OTHER!!!!  
Read 16:00  
Georgie  
-Yay! I’m so excited to see you!  
-I am in the middle of a stream   
though so I’ll text you once it’s done!!  
Read 16:01  
After that George mutes his phone and goes back to streaming, his worry showing. He defeats the Ender Dragon and screams at the computer, “SUCK IT!!!” Then his alarm went off reminding him to stop streaming and pick up Dream.   
“Okay guys this is perfect timing! I actually need to stop the stream now and go. Thank you for watching!! Byeeeee!!” George’s facade falls and he shuts down his computer. “Okay, I can do this. I can do this. I can pick Dream up and have him over.” George mutters under his breath. He gets up and goes out to his car with a genuine smile on his face, as he thinks of what Dream might look like.   
He drives for thirty minutes and arrives at the airport. His nerves start acting up before suddenly remembering that he has no idea what Dream looks like. A small panic goes through his mind not knowing what he will do because it’s not like he can go around tapping random peoples shoulders asking, “Hi are uh my friend Dream?” or what if someone knew who he was and tried pretending to be Dream?   
“George? Wait, George is that you?” George hears a familiar voice ask loudly.  
“Dream?” George questions the panic slowly going down.   
“Oh my gosh! George it’s you?”   
“You- you’re here? You’re actually here?!” George says slight tear marks on his face from the past two days getting wet again due to his stress becoming relieved.


	5. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George and Dream finally talk about what is really happening with George

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short I promise the next one will be longer!

“Hey Georgie! Yes I’m here! Wait are you crying- Hey it’s okay…” emotions flood through Dream, his words flowing and not stopping.   
George’s tears just fall faster as he cries out all of his tears from the past days events. Despite originally being stressed as hell about Dream visiting him earlier, he actually needed Dream’s presence in order to destress.   
They hug for a bit longer until Dream mentions the fact that they are standing in the middle of an airport and are both content creators, and basically waiting to accidentally face reveal Dream.  
Their hands slowly connect as they walk away from the airport.  
“So George…” Dream starts as they get into the car, “are you okay? You cried after seeing me and now I can’t help but think I fucked up in some way…”   
George has an internal debate on whether to tell Dream the truth or not, finally saying, “yeah… it’s just… I wasn’t expecting you here this early and got extremely stressed about what we will do and if my house was clean enough and what if something happened to-”  
“Hey! George…” Dream interrupts, “it’s okay, I don’t care if all we do is sit and talk I’m just happy to finally see you! I don’t care if your house is clean or not, mine isn’t even clean, I mean have you heard the number of bottles that fall off my desk?”  
“Yeah… thank you Dream…” George says, his face still red with tear marks.  
“I love you George!”  
George ignores the comment and turns on the car leaving Dream to wonder what was wrong with his friend.   
The silence slowly shifts from uncomfortable and strange into just being there, no one wants to speak up and George felt bad for not being able to say “I love you” back to Dream. The tension between them is strong so Dream reaches to turn on the radio. The song Arcade turns on, as the lyrics play George starts to panic. Dream looks over and sees George’s eyes starting to water again, sensing something wrong he quickly turns off the music and starts whispering sweet things. Then he takes a second to think, “Hey George you do know you don’t have to say that you love me right? I never made you say it before and although you know I’m not joking if it makes you uncomfortable I’ll stop.”  
“Dream… it’s not that… I just… I know you know I’m not good at expressing emotions… and well although I do uhm l-lov-”   
“George you don’t have to-”  
“No I need to Dream, so although I do love you, I can’t say it often… and my panic attacks… well… they’re about… you… you see when I first started liking you I started getting these major panic attacks about what might happen if you found out, I didn’t know whether you were homophobic or what I thought you’d ditch me…” George continues talking as tears start falling down his face.  
“Aw George… I… I’m sorry… you know I’d never do that right?”  
“Yeah that’s how I normally get back, I know you’ve donated to charities a lot…”  
George sees his house and pulls in, parking the car and allowing the end of the stressful conversation.


	6. Not Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick reminder 'that' means it is George's anxiety/nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a bit! I was in a cast and couldn't type. Also apologies on how angsty this is…

The two boys walk into George’s house and Dream’s jaw drops. “Damn George… you’re house is spotless- what do you mean ‘not clean enough’”  
“Well I cleaned… for hours… uhm anyways I’ll show you around!!” Dream and George start their walk around George’s house.  
“So this is my kitchen and dining room! I kind of just eat in my room though…” George says snickering at the end comment. The tour continues and George shows him every room, finally getting to his room. “Uhm this is my room… uhmmmm don’t come in here without knocking or you will probably regret it especially while I’m streaming…”  
Dream looks at George slightly confused before remembering he hasn’t exactly done a face reveal, “Oh right! What if you have your face cam off though?”  
“Dream… do you really want them to know we are together right now? With uhm… all the shippers?”  
“Don’t we ship ourselves though? Aren’t we dating?”  
George starts to panic not knowing how to answer, cause to him they weren’t dating, Dream never asked him and he simply wasn’t ready. George just smiles and nods, not wanting to be a burden of any sorts. Dreams earlier smile increases hugging his new boyfriend. George moves clearly uncomfortable and makes Dream leave his room.  
George starts to spiral again not knowing what to do about his newfound boyfriend. Not knowing how to tell him the truth, that he isn’t ready for commitment. That it will worsen his anxiety. So he simply doesn’t. As the next few days go by George stays huddled up in his room crying, and when he finally leaves it’s to go to the bathroom or get food. He avoids all eye-contact with Dream while he does this.  
Dream begins to worry. It’s been one week now since he’s last talked to George… well since he’s actually spoken to him. He has left several messages to George without any reply, along with leaving notes under George’s door making sure he is not harming himself. Although Dream came here to be able to hang out with George the only thing they’ve done is hug once the first day.  
George continues crying as he opens his newest letter:  
“Dear My Beloved,  
Hi Georgie!! I don’t know if you’re even reading these since you’re not responding to anything. I just wanna make sure you’re okay? I think maybe I figured out what I did wrong… George. Please answer, did I ask you out too soon? I know I probably did… George I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you, I have more to say but can we please talk in person? I want to be able to work this out…  
Love you!  
-Dream”  
George tries slowing his tears to be able to breathe properly and to walk out to talk to Dream. 30 minutes pass by and George recovers, his breathing back to a steady pace. He opens his door and leaves his room, ready to speak to his “boyfriend” for the first time in a week.  
“George?! Omigosh are you okay??” Dream asks his voice happy at seeing his best friend.  
“Dream. We need to talk.”  
“Right… apologies.”  
“It’s okay…”  
The room becomes silent as the two become more awkward than before.  
“George… do you… do you want to break up with me?” Dream asks, tears forming in the corner of his eyes as his voice cracks.  
“Dream… I- yes.”  
Dream wipes his tears and turns away from George.  
“Dream… listen. I- I love you. I really do. I just am not ready for any relationship. Being in a relationship stressed me out so much I didn’t speak to you for a week. Is that really what you want?”  
“George… why? Why didn’t you say no?”  
The world goes black. George’s breathing stops.  
“Dream stop!”  
Dream’s hand tightens over George’s mouth.  
“George? What?”  
“Why do you exist. I hate you.”  
“STOP CHOKING ME!! I’M SORRY OKAY?! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!! Please… please just stop…”  
“George? GEORGE? Breathe please… please don’t leave me” Dream cries out.


End file.
